Now I have to go write my yearbook write up because I totally forgot about it! AHHHH
Byes!
-lis
So I outed myself today to my mom. I decided that if I want to get better, I need to come clean about everything. I gave my mom the joint that was in Sarah's purse and I'm done with this shit. I can't believe how much it's fucked me up. And it's weird because no one really knows what it's been doing to me. Swimming is SO unbelievably hard for me now. I can't do this to my lungs and body anymore. It's really screwing with my mind. I haven't really told anybody how I've been feeling for the past three weeks. I'm pretty good at hiding it. I just need to come home, sit in my room and no one knows. It's really crazy how my parents never really noticed that Sarah and I came home drunk and stoned all the time. I can understand why they wouldn't know. But like... no one really knew that I've been going to my room every night alone and just crying. I don't really know what I'm crying for. That's the thing that weirds me out. My mind is all messed and I can't recall most of the past couple months. You would think that Rob or one of my friends would notice that I haven't really been around much. Or that I haven't really been "all there" and stuff. It kinda sucks not having anyone to talk to or not having anyone notice that you're totally fucked...
Anyways, pray for me!! I'm going to get better and be fine right?
I'm going to sleep 
Love Always
Yesterday Caroline and I were talking and she asked me if I was scared of getting pregnant. And obviously I said no, I wasn't really scared, but I didn't WANT to right now. My friend just had her baby so I've been thinking and dealing with baby stuff in real life so that's why I think I had this dream. I just woke up and had a dream that I was pregnant with my ex's kid. It was so depressing because I've just figured out what I'm doing in my life and that would totally mess it up! And I couldn't imagine having to tell Rob and his mum! Scary! Anyways, the weirdest part is that apparently I'm smart enough to piece together a 9 month span in my dreams! In the dream I asked my mom when I was going to be due and she said November and it's creepy cuz I'd actually be due in November in real life... I hate having weird dreams!!
I think I'm going to eat break-fast now.
lis
I had promised myself I wasn't going to talk to Rob today... or for like a week. But of course, me, lacking willpower madly, called him. But I nothing bad came of the phone calls and msn talks... I don't think. Wow, I can't believe how stupid I feel. I shouldn't have jumped into everything too fast with him. I think being friends should have been a step we took first. Hopefully someday we're both in the same place at the same time, looking for the same thing and we can try again. That'd be wicked!
lol! I wonder if I'm supposed to get over him now... Or if I'm sposta wait to see if anything happens. I hope he's not too hard to get over. But hey, it's another journey for my memories right? It's kinda funny how lately I've been having really good days and then really shitty days. You can tell I'm a teenage girl eh? lmao! I gotta stop doing weed. I think that's part of my weird-ness.
I'm going to paint my nails with Sarah and drink tea.
Nite!!
I miss Rob, I wish I didn't go and fuck everything up with him.
Bye
I stole this from Carly's Blog! Everyone check out Carly's Blog too!
A - Age of your first kiss: hmm... 11 or 12?
B - Band you are listening to right now: Story of the Year
C - Crush: 
D - Dad's name: Tom
E - Easiest person to talk to: Kira, Ryan (they don't judge me )
F - Favorite ice cream: Well I can die if I eat it so I don't eat it very often you know... but chocolate? lol
G- Gummy worms or Gummy bears?: worms, they are longer, the way I like em! lmao! I'm totally kidding!!!
H - How many bestfriends do you have? Let's go with MANY close friends.
I - It's nice to know: That I have my friends and family and music when I need em!
J - Junior High: It was at C.D. Howe and it sucked!!
K - Kissed how many: shit I dunno!!
L - Longest car ride: Can't recall
M - Moment you can't forget: Being stealth with Ryan when delivering goods back to the boyfriends house! lmfao!!
N - Nicknames: lis, Butt-kiss? (SUZIE!), Lisie, Bitch
O - One wish: I wish I didn't have the ability to feel pain. That would be fucking wicked eh!?
P - Phobia: death, spiders, heights, getting hurt
Q - Quote: Right now I like... "loving someone isn't the hard part, it's having the courage to let them love you back"
R - Reasons to smile: Highschool is almost over!!
T - Time you woke up today: 6:30!!!
U - Unknown fact about me: hmmm... I'm a lezbo? lol! Well according to Ry! 
V - Vegetables you hate: um, all vegetables!?
W - Worst luck with: BOYS!
X - X-rays you've had: a few
Y - Years since you've been to church: at least... 5
Z - Zodiac sign: Aries 
I don't understand why everyone needs to be so bitchy and freak out on everyone else. Anyways, I broke up with my boyfriend because I heard him hitting on my friend. My other friend likes the girl that my boyfriend was hitting on so he's pissed too. And then he said something to hurt my sister's feelings. And now everyone is mad and sad and fucked up. I hate drama!!! This shit is too confusing! Everyone just shut up and keep to yourselves for fuck sakes! Anyways, I'm done with shitty guys that hurt your feelings and make you cry. I think I'm going to blast music now.
Math sucked today! That exam was so brutal! Of course, I'm not going to lie, I didn't open my books to study for more than 10 minutes.
Yeah that's right. I should have taken that a bit more seriously I guess. Oh well, I got the credit fo sho! 
Did I just say fo sho? lol! I'm going to study for biology though! My friend had her baby! I'm so excited for her. She said it was a short labour and not too painful! And she had her beautiful baby girl. The baby's name is Anneliese, but I'm not positive that's how she spelt it! And she was 9 and a half pounds.
Tomorrow I'm going to a family friends' the hair salon to hang out while my mom gets her nails done. I'm excited cuz maybe I can volunteer there on Saturdays or something. That would be wicked fun!
I saw a great movie last night called The City of God. I suggest it to everyone... although you do have to read the subtitles throughout the whole movie. And tonight I'm going to rent Red Eye. I love Rachel McAdams. My boyfriend has a list of good movies from a friend who used to work at Blockbuster. So we're going through the whole list...lol! Yeah I know, losers eh? But I'm like a movie fanatic so it's okay!
CALL ME over the week break if anyone's free!!
Buh-Byes!
